Religulous

I’m a pretty liberal guy. And until I saw this movie, I considered myself a huge dissenter of organized religion. So most people automatically think that I’m a big fan of Bill Maher and his new film Religulous (It’s a combination of religion and ridiculous. Get it?).

First of all, I fucking hate Bill Maher. He’s not funny, and he so blindly liberal that he practically becomes a parody of the hard line Republicans he rails against every time I watch Real Time. It doesn’t matter what the issue is, Bill will take the far left viewpoint, shout it at the top of his lungs, and ridicule anyone who disagrees with him. He’s really the Democratic, male version of Anne Coulture (Who I truly believe he’s sleeping with, btw. When that scandal breaks it’s gonna be AWESOME!)

So I watched Religulous, and I’m offended. Not because of my religous beliefs (I don’t have any), but because of how completely one sided, shallow, and intellectually insulting the “documentary” (it should be ashamed to call itself that) was.

The premise is that Bill travels across the world confronting people on the contradictions and ridiculous tenants of various world religions in ambush, gorilla style interviews a la Borat or Micheal Moore. Each interview is inter-cut with stock film clips or has (always) derisive commentary scrolling along the bottom in the form of subtitles. The purpose of this is to be funny, but usually Maher and the filmmakers simply use it to subvert any valid point the interviewee just made. He rarely lets his victims speak, instead he chooses to talk over them and twist their arguments out of context. It’s ironic, because Maher contends that people follow relligous doctrine with sheep-like abandon, but seems to believe his audience won’t recognize what he’s doing and will follow along with equal mental complacency.

If Maher truly cared about having a legitimate theological discussion, he might try starting with people that are smart and educated enough to defend themselves. The first stop Bill and his crew make is at a makeshift church at a truck stop in Raleigh, NC. He wants religious answers, so he goes to truckers?! Trust me, none of these guys were valedictorians, and that remains consistent through out the film. Bill wants to know why Jesus shares a similar origin story with a number of other gods from the Middle East. Does he ask a priest? No. Does he ask a studied theologian? No. He asks a guy that dresses up like Jesus at a theme park in Florida. Sure it’s funny, but it begs the question. Does Bill Maher really care, or does he just want to lampoon rednecks?

One instance in particular highlights everything wrong with this movie. Bill sits down to talk with Rabbi Yisroel Dovid Weiss, best known for showing up at Mahmoud Ahmedinajad’s (I know I didn’t spell that right) “investigation into the existence of the Holocaust” and campaigning against the existence of Israel as a state. You know Bill can’t wait to sink his teeth in to this guy!

But wait! Rabbi Weiss is an educated man, and can defend himself against Maher’s onslaught of derisive laughter and rolling eyes. He attempts to explain to Maher that he is Haredi Jew, and they believe that it is their duty to live in completely accordance with Jewish law. As such, it is heresy for the Jews to occupy the promised land when so few of them live clean lives. From what I remember from the one semester of religious studies in took back in 2003, this is not that far from the thinking of many orthodox Jews. The Pharisees, for instance, believed that the messiah was a man who would liberate them from Roman rule and that he would not arrive until every Jew in the world lived in complete accordance with Jewish law. That philosophy has a lot to do with why they handed Jesus over to Pilot — he was detracting people from the true path. So, is this line of thinking pretty hard core and antiquated? You betcha! But is he a complete lunatic and traitor to his people like Bill Maher makes it out to be? Not at all.

Maher, of course, knows this, and, as soon as it looks like the mans about to make sense and not live up to the “religious whacko” role the filmmakers wanted to cast him in, begins to talk over him and belittle him. Weiss asks Maher to let him finish speaking, however, so Maher busts out plan B! “You’re friends with Ahmedhinjad! He says he wants to wipe Israel off the map!” For the record, I’ve heard that Ahmedhinajad has said at speeches in Iran, the only thing I’ve personally heard with my own ears was in an interview on 60 minutes where said he felt Israel should be moved to Germany since the Germans caused the Holocaust.

So, obviously Bill’s taking Weiss slightly out of context here. When Weiss attempts to set the record straight, Bill just gets up and leaves the interview (but not before flashing some pictures of Weiss at that conference in Iran to make it look like he was right). You can agree or disagree or with Weiss, but the man’s not crazy. To treat him as such only exemplifies Maher’s intentions to make a crucifixion piece (pun intended) on religion rather than have a discussion on it.
Finally, Maher blames organized religion for war and terrorism and any other number of violent acts committed in the name of a god, and before this movie I used to as well. But watching Religulous got me thinking. The capacity of religion to organize people, help them, and be an agent for good in the world is limitless. The connection between religion and violence is a reflection on the people that run the religion, not the religion itself. Priests that molest children and Imams that declare jihad are no different than Gov. Blagojevic in Illinois trying to sell Obama’s senate seat. Being governor of Illinois didn’t make him bad, he was just an asshole to begin with. The institution of government itself isn’t bad, it’s just the people in it. I think the same goes for religion.

 

LR: Travelin’ Tina II: The Saga Continues

This is a follow up to This Week in Pick Up #17: More LMR with Travelin’ Tina. I was going to just tack this on to the end, but it ran a little long (imagine that, ha ha) so I’m giving it its own little post. All the heavy lifting for this LR was done in that first post, I’m chalking this one up as the result of attraction + time. So, if you’ve read the first post go ahead and dive right in, if you haven’t (or want to refresh your memory) read the other one first. I’ll wait. Ready? Ok, here we go.

TRAVELIN’ TINA II: THE SAGA CONTINUES

So Tina and I kept in touch. Once a week, usually on Sundays, we’d text each other. I never went much further than texting. I honestly expected us to stop communicating at any moment. I tried staying in touch with girls before, like HB Jesus Freak from last year. That went on for a while, then she just stopped eventually. I expected that that was what would happen with Tina, but it never did. She went on a couple of dates. She would tell me some times about the really bad pick ups guys in Miami were doing to her. I would tell her about some of the girls I was seeing too. Ironically, I never did that with Jesus Freak, because I didn’t want her to get discouraged and stop talking to me. I’m not sure what the ground rules are about talking to girls about other girls you’re seeing, or if those rules change when it’s kind of a long distance thing. I think in the later case I’ll certainly mention other girls here and there from now on. What do you guys think?

Those convos were kind of the exceptions, though. Mostly we would just shoot the . Sometimes we would just talk about what was going on our lives. Sometimes I would talk about really cool movies I had seen. Other times I would be overtly flirty and sexual.

Tina: So guess what I’m going to be for Halloween?

Effy: A Peurto Rican with perfect tits?

Sometimes she’d say suggestive things like:

Tina: It’s cold here. Good night to cuddle.

Or

Tina: I’m home from work and ready to get out of these clothes – - but not like YOU’RE thinking.

When I started playing around with the slow track stuff, I threw her into that mix. I think the interjection of random fun-ness ignited a spark.

We would call occasionally, but mostly we would text. I think I should have called more. I had a girl flake on me this week, and one of the things she said was “If you were serious you would have called” (as opposed to just texting a lot). Also, when I got Tina alone one of the things she said was “So you’re not just a text message.” I think you should always open with a text, but I definitely need to make a point to speak on the phone with these girls more. I think it makes you more of a real person. I don’t know why. Do you?

Then one day, I got this text:

Tina: Do you want to hear something crazy?

Effy: Nope. =P

Tina: Fine, you want to play it that way… What if I told you…

Effy: Nope, lets just be sassy with each other instead ]=)

Tina: You don’t want to know

Effy: Wow, that’s like 3 sassy points for you. You’re doing very well

Tina: No fair. You’re getting the better end of this, Effy. You know I can’t keep a secret.

Effy: Ok, tell me the secret.

Tina: You said you don’t want to hear it, I know when I’m not welcome. I ‘ll just bottle it up. You might find it behind your fridge someday .

Effy: Ooo that’s another 3 points! You must be working on the record.

Tina: How about this, you have to tell me you’re secret first

So, Asian Rake mentioned that he trades secrets with girls as a technique when he’s going for deep rapport (not what I’m doing here, btw, this is just kind of a tangent). I think that’s a great idea, but I can’t come up with any good secrets to share. I mean I have secrets, but they’re things I don’t want other people to know – that’s what makes them secrets. So I’ve decided I’m just going to make one up, but I can’t think of what a good one would be. She will reveal a secret similar to mine, so where do I want to go with this? Asian Rake said his is very sexual. What kinds of secrets do you think I should come up with? I couldn’t think of anything sexual that would be a “secret” so I went with this:

Effy: I slept with a blanky until I was 4. There. Now you know the awful truth ☺.

Tina: That totally does not count. You still sleep with a blanky, and it’s no secret.

Effy: No!! You’re not supposed to know that!

Tina: That’s the thing with secrets, the person keeping them is the only one who thinks it’s a secret.

Tina: You probably already know my secret. I don’t even have to tell you.

Effy: You’re pregnant!

Tina: Oh that’s not secret. It’s pretty hard to hide.

Effy: So what’s the real secret then, Fertile Myrtle?

Tina: We have completely strayed from the story I was going to tell. Sassy you.

Effy: Secret, please.

Tina: The secret: You’re taking me out to dinner Wednesday night.

Yes, it would appear that Tina has finished her training in sunny Miami, and is ready to start her bright, shiny new life in Baltimore. She’s going to be tying up some loose ends in Greenville on her way through, and, lucky me, I turn out to be one of them.

She won’t tell me where it is that I’ll be wining and dinning her, but she has a special place picked out. I have school Wednesday night until 9pm. I forsee problems here, but whatever. I also suggest that maybe we could go do karaoke with my friends after dinner. She mistakes this as me saying that I’d rather do karaoke with my friends than have dinner with her. She’s hurt, but I clear that up real fast, and explain that I meant do karaoke WITH her AFTER dinner.

My plan is just to have as much fun as I can during dinner and escalate physically. Not push for anything that’s not there. Not be constantly trying to drag her home to have sex. I’ll do it when the vibe is right and not before.

Anyways, Wednesday night roles around, she still hasn’t told me where we’re going to eat. I call when I get out of class, and, wouldn’t you know it, she’s wrapped up in some work related party and the restaurant (sushi place) closes at 9:30.

Tina: So here’s the plan. I think I can get out of her and grab some takeout before they close. We can just eat at your place.

Well! Looks like I may not need the above plan after all. Better brush my teeth, looks like I’m getting laid tonight! So half an hour goes by. There’s no knock on my door. My phone rings again.

Tina: I didn’t make it.

Effy: That’s cool. We can just get a pizza.

Tina: I am NOT eating pizza. I’ve been in the car all day. Let’s go find someplace that’s still open downtown.

Effy: Ok (back to plan A)

Tina: Alright. I’m almost at your place. Meet me outside.

Despite the fact that we’re no longer eating in, I’m still pretty confidant that sex is in the cards. For one thing, Tina sounds SUPER hyper — like she just drank eight redbulls. So, the first thing I do when she rolls up is open the door, get in, and kiss her. We make out. She tells me I smell nice and look good. All systems are go.

I know a sushi place that doubles as a bar. We go there, and talk about all kinds of stuff. The important thing that’s going on is table kino. I’m sitting next to her (like at a square table) as opposed to across from her. I’m giving high fives, and touching her upper arm.

So we end up talking about Thanksgiving, and she mentions that she didn’t go home to see her family. I say they must have missed her, and she mentions that holidays are bad around her house.

Tina: It’s not something I normally talk about, but I’ll tell you if you want me to.

Effy: If you want to tell me, I’d like to hear it.

She tells me a story about her father that is very sad and very personal. I don’t feel feel comfortable telling you about it (sorry), but it’s very tragic, and very personal, and very REAL. It’s not fluffy , it’s a very real piece of who she is as a person. I hold her hand, make deep eye contact with her, and listen very intently as she tells me. The very act of telling me creates a deeper connection (think about how you would feel towards someone if you opened up to them about your grandmother’s death, for instance). I regret that I had never had a similar experience that I could share with her in consolation. Anyways, I sympathise as best I can, and give her hand a squeeze. She squeezes back.

We lighten the mood a bit, and start making fun of the guitar guy in the corner. He’s playing Margaritaville (in a sushi bar, no less).

Effy; How many bars across the world do you think this song is being played in right now?

Tina: lol, millions!

Effy: You know my friends and I got kicked out of a bar for not applauding the guitar guy once?

Tina: Omg!, really?

Story ensues. So now that the moods a little lighter, I start mentally debating whether or not we should walk across the street and do karaoke. She has to drop me off at my place later anyways and it’s pretty on, so I’m feeling like the sex is inevitable. That being the case, if she wants to party a little or whatever, I’m cool with that. That makes me realize that when I was doing a lot of those cold approaches in the park over the summer and trying to pull them home quickly every time, it was certainly working against me. The “sex is inevitable” attitude is what I needed to have. I should be cool just going with the flow and vibing a bit. I’m not sure how I can do that and lead like Remi said in my last post, but certainly a less sex hungry attitude is in order. I used to be confused when people would ask me why I always tried to pull the same day, or if I was only interested in sex. I didn’t understand where those question were coming from, because I thought that if you didn’t get as far as possible the first day, you’d probably never see them again. Now that I’m starting to get a few more dates, etc. I can see how I might actually get laid easier this way. Ok, tangent over.

So, yeah, I started off talking about how I didn’t mind taking her to the karaoke bar if she wanted to go, because I ended up just asking her:

Effy: So what now, Ms. Tina?

I’m not sure if this was a good thing to do or not, because I know I need to be leading on a date. Make no mistake, I would love to take her home and ravage her as soon as possible, but it’s going to happen anyway if I don’t anything up. I don’t want to push too hard and ruin it, and, like I said before, I want her to have a good time. If the she wants to stay out a little longer, hell, let the good times roll. So was I right to ask? Or should I have just made the decision one way or the other?

Tina: Didn’t you have some movie you told me about?

Effy: Yeah, Across the Universe. It’s awesome. (One of my top 3 now, btw)

Tina: Let’s go watch it.

I’m glad I asked. I would much rather strip her down than sing old Credence songs. We go home, and get about 10 minutes into the movie before we’re both naked and falling off the couch.

Now let’s talk about how you treat girls after you sleep with them and relationship management. I think we all know how important cuddling is. I’ve heard some debate over wether or not to let the girl sleep over (i.e. if she’s just a buddy, kick her out). I don’t really have the experience to say. A lot of girls leave on their own. I think you should let her sleep over if she wants to, buddy or not. What say you, more experienced guys? Also I cooked her breakfast in the morning. This is another one of those things I’ve heard people say not to do. On the other hand, I have a female friend who only sleeps with older guys (like old enough to be her dad). She says it’s because younger guys just kick her out, but older guys make her breakfast in the morning and she appreciates that. Also, like a year ago, I ended up sleeping with this girl and was telling a female coworker about it. She asked me if I made her breakfast in the morning, and seemed kind of offended on the girls behalf when I said no. So I made breakfast. I think good, you can disagree.

There you go. That’s my report.

See you when I see you.

 

FR: Travelin’ Tina

This weeks report is a lot like last week’s, only it doesn’t end with me getting laid. Here we go.

I saw her in Barnes and Noble sitting in one of those arm chairs they have set up. She was reading a book.

Effy: Hey, what’s up.

Tina: Hey.

Effy: I’m Effy.

Tina: Tina.

Effy: I thought you were cute, Tina, and I wanted to come talk to you. Mind if I sit down?

Tina: No, go ahead.

So I sit down on the floor in front of her. This causes a few kino problems. I can’t reach her arms, so I end up touching her knees a lot. I have to lean forward to do the little fist bump thing. Nothing major, though. I think as long as you’re touching, that’s the important part.

So I start doing my screening/qualifying stuff. This girl was really pretty impressive. Girlfriend material, in my opinion. She was an avid hiker, brown belt in Hapkido, played rugby in college (she’s not that butch, I swear). Big travelor. She’s been to San Francisco, spent the last year living in the Carribean, is going to spend the rest of the summer in Miami, and is then heading to Maryland where she’ll be heading up the new division of some coporation (she’s only 23).

So my main focus is still to improve my rapport/connection skills, and there’s two things that have been working really well for me there so far. The first thing is being very forthcoming with personal information. I open up to her before she opens up to me. For instance, when we’re talking about our families, I usually volunteer a lot of information. She’ll say something like:

Tina: I have two brothers. One older, one younger.

Effy: Cool. I have one brother – younger- and two parents. Still together.

Tina: Wow, that’s pretty rare these days.

Effy: Yup. We’re very Leave It To Beaver like. We have family dinners every Sunday
night. We watch movies together. All kinds of stuff.

When I’m in the “attract” phase, it’s more about getting her to put forth increasing amounts of effort. I might go into that much detail about something, but never unless she was also giving me that much detail about what she was talking about. Here, in the “comfort” phase, it’s like I’m leading by example. I’m opening up, revealing things about myself, and the girls tend to follow suite.

The other thing is a little technique I like to call “Shut Up and Listen.” Revolutionary, I know. Basically, if you let anyone talk for long enough, they’ll tell you what their values are without you even having to ask. They’ll bring certain topics up in conversation repeatedly, or speak in a way that lets you infer some of their values. For instance, Tina brings up her travels a lot. It’s clear that this is not only important to her, but that she also places a lot of value in the independence and worldliness that it has given her.

Effy: You know, I wish I could travel as much as you do. I’ve always liked airports. They make me feel like I’m going on an adventure. And I feel like I’m a better person for going out and experiencing different places and things.

Tina: I know! You would not believe how many people I interview that want to work for us, and have never even left South Carolina.

So, it’s not like I asked her “So what’s important to you” and she said “traveling.” I could infer that traveling was by listening to her, so I moved on to that topic.

So those two techniques have really gone a great ways towards helping me create WIDE rapport. The final nail in the coffin, however, is DEEP rapport, and that part I’m still working on. So I was browsing the Virginia/Carolina Lair archives, and found a post by Remi (that he wrote almost a year ago!) saying that the goal of deep rapport is to create and emotional connection. The way to do this is by opening up to her and revealing an emotional incident from your own life. This will open up the gates for talking about emotions and you can proceed to connect from there.

That idea fits very nicely into what I’m already doing. In theory it seems pretty perfect. So I decided I’m going to start telling the story I told Sunny when we were talking about religion (I may or may not start dropping the religious elements from this as I use it more, we’ll see).

So, Tina and I have segued from talking about travel making you a well rounded to person, to talking about how the lack of it can leave you very small minded. It makes for a smooth transition into my story.

Tina: Don’t get me wrong. I love Greenville. It’s beautiful. But some of the people here are just so narrow minded.

Effy: I know what you mean. When I was in middle school, a group of my friends came back after a break and decided that they wanted to start stoning gay people…

Tina: What? Why?

Effy: I think it says you’re supposed to do that in the Old Testament somewhere.

Tina: It also says you’re supposed to free your slaves every seven years, and we don’t do that!

Effy: Nope, we keep ‘em forever! (Tina: LOL) Anyways, I was walking around the track with this kid one day – and I don’t think he was gay, I think he just kind of socially awkward – and they started throwing rocks at us! So through the end of middle school and going into high school I didn’t have any friends. But I’m kind of glad, you know? I had to go out and meet new people. It taught me to be independent and I ended meeting really cool people I never would have met otherwise.

That was the first time I’ve tried it (comments/critiques welcome), and I think it certainly made a difference. I screwed up in that there’s not a lot of emotional talk in there to latch onto, but on the other hand it was something very personal that I shared with her. I felt she was more involved and committed to the conversation afterwards. I felt like there was a more intimate vibe. She talked to me about being home schooled, and how she felt like that gave her a better work ethic and prevented her from being put in a box like people that go to public schools. It’s defiantly something I intend to try some more.

So the conversation moves to food and cooking. We both cook, so we talk about that. She’s into exotic foods, so she’s asking me “do you like Thai,” “do you like Korean,” etc.

Tina: Do you like Indian?

Effy: Yeah, actually. You know, the first time I had Indian I was in Japan…

Tina: OMG! You’ve been to Japan?

Effy: Yeah.

Tina: I want to go there SO bad! I have friends that are in the JET program, and I totally have to visit them before they leave. What was it like?

So we talk about Japan a little bit. She loves some modern Japanese artist I can’t remember. Things are going well. I decide to go for an insta-date.

Effy: You know what? I’m pretty hungry. Let’s go get something to eat.

Tina: Um… ok. Where?

Effy: There’s a sushi bar like 2 blocks up. Feel like Japanese?

We go to the sushi bar, but it turns out they’re only open for dinner hours. She suggest we go to a Vietnamese place nearby, because I had said that I’d never had Vietnamese. So we do. I actually just spent the last 10 minutes trying to find the name of what I got on Google. It was really good, chicken in some kind of coconut sauce. The name looked like Vietnamese Mamasan, but I assure you, that’s not what it was actually called =).

We talk more. She wanted to write children’s books as a child, and still wants to be published some day. She loves educating people. She tells me more about being home schooled when I ask if she regrets not going to a regular high school. I’m really enjoying myself with her, so I go for the pull.

Now I’ve decided that she must know she’s going back to my place. There’s no way around it. Last week I had a girl in the car, halfway to my place before she figured out where we were going and wanted me to take her back to her car. So: she has to know she’s going to my place. She has to be able to deny that she went there for sex. Thusly, I concocted the following awkward, but seemingly affective, pull.

Effy: So did you take pictures on any of your trips? (I want her to ask me if I took pictures of Japan)

Tina: No, not really. (She doesn’t)

Effy: Well, I don’t want you to get any ideas, but I have some photos of my trip to Japan.
I’d be happy to show them to you.

Tina: Ok. Where are they? At your place?

Effy: Yeah. That’s why I said not to get any ideas.

Tina: Well since we just met, I doubt that anything will happen.

So we go back to my place. I go into the other room to break out the Box ‘O Memories, but when I come back she’s looking through this book I have called Beers of the World. Now, I have an armchair and a two-seater couch in my living room. She’s already sat down in the chair, which leaves the couch for me and puts a lot of space between us. She’s sitting there looking for this German beer she had once that she liked. I go over and sit on the arm of the chair and look at the book with her. She kind of tenses up. The kino during this sarge has been really, really light. She’s not ready for me to escalate yet. So, in order to make her more comfortable, I don’t back off immediately. I stay in her space until we find the beer she was looking for, then I go sit down on the couch without touching her anymore. This goes back to that comfort thresholds thing that I mentioned Sinn writing about 2 or 3 weeks ago.

So I’ve left the Box ‘O Memories sitting on the coffee table. I haven’t said anything about, and, although I’m sure she’s guessed that the pictures are in there, she hasn’t either. Instead she turns to me and we end up having another semi-deep, personal conversation. She mentions that she’s very goal driven, and that she feels compelled to constantly be working for something.

Effy: So does that bother you? That you can’t just chill out and relax sometimes?

Tina: Well, that’s just the way I am.

Effy: That’s not what I asked you, though. I asked if it bothered you to be that way? Like, if I have a wonderful day, but one thing goes wrong, I’ll fixate on that thing and get down about it – even though I had an otherwise perfect day. And that’s the way I am, but it bothers me that I’m like that.

Tina: But you can’t control it. So and So ( sorry, don’t remember) once wrote that there are two kinds of perfectionists. There are those that try and make every thing perfect, including the things they can’t control, and there are those that realize that there are certain things they can’t control, and focus on the things that they can. I just try and focus on the things that I can, and that keeps me pretty happy.

So we have that conversation, and then there’s a moment of silence. I fill it by gesturing towards the box, and she starts to dig through the photos. I go sit on the arm of the chair again now, so that I can tell her what the different photos are. We’re looking through them, I’m explaining, and now I’ve also got my arm around her. She isn’t resisting. In fact she starts making little flirty jokes. She’ll say “You look like such a dork in the picture,” and then push into me a little bit with her shoulder. It’s on!

So I reach down, take her chin with one finger and pull it up towards me. We start to make out. At first she doesn’t want to get out of the damn chair and move to the couch (“But I just met you” blah blah blah), so I pull out a little trick Asian Rake suggested to me last week.

Effy: Look, I want you to trust me, ok, so anytime you’re uncomfortable just say “stop” and I will.

After that, she suggest we move to the couch herself! We have a lot a fun there. We tickle each other. We roll around and knock the cushions off. She doesn’t want to go into the bedroom, though. So we keep having giggly fun make out time. I get her boobs out, and that’s always a good time. Eventually we come up for air. She’s laying on top of me with her head on chest when she says:

Tina: You know, I give really good massages.

Sweet. She tries to massage my back, but it’s clearly not working – especially on such a small couch. So I just get up and walk into the bedroom.

Effy: Oh, come on! I’m not gonna do anything.

She follows. She does give really good massages, and every now and then she leans down, whispers something sexy in my ear and gives it a little bite. Then she starts to tickle me again. So I roll over and pull her back down to me. More silly make out time. We alternate between play wrestling and making out like teenagers. She’s starting to get really aroused though. I can feel it and smell it. I start to rub down there and get quickly denied. Oh boy, here we go again!

I back off a little, then eventually work my hand down to her butt. I grope that for a while then start to rub her from behind. She’s saying a lot of the same things that Betty was saying last week. Not the crazy I have AIDS , but stuff like:

Tina: No, this is too soon

Tina: We should wait until next time (when we both know that there will be no next time because she’s about to leave for Miami and then Baltimore)

Tina: That doesn’t even feel good.

Anyways, I’m ignoring her, just trying to get her worked up. She’s starting to moan when she says

Tina: Stop!

So I do. I roll over and commence freeze out. I’m not sure how this is supposed to go, but I don’t touch her, speak to her, or look at her. She rolls over and starts to cuddle me. She gives me little kisses and lays her head on my chest. She makes little jokes. We start to make out again. Things get heated again. I’m rubbing her from the front this time. I get the button undone. Then:

Tina: Stop!

Repeat of last time. She snuggles up against me. Starts asking me why I don’t have a girlfriend, and saying I’m really cute and fun. We start to kiss again.

Tina: Let’s just spoon for a minute, ok?

We do that. I start kissing her neck, nibbling her ear. She’s breathing heavily. I move down towards her pants. I unbutton them. I unzip them. I slide my hand down inside her panties. It is there that I encounter a small jungle of pubic hair. Honestly, who doesn’t at least trim that in this day and age? I can almost reach her pussy, but all the hair makes it hard to slide my hand further. I start to rub the very top of it, when:

Tina: Stop!

It is my firm belief that if she shaved down there, this would be a lay report =P. As it stands, however, I am now on my third freeze out and the situations looking bleak. She’s saying she has to go soon. We start making out again. I get on top of her and dry hump her some. She really likes this. She’ll start moaning and getting into it, then frantically try and roll over to where I can’t arouse her. Finally, she says “Stop” again, only this time instead of cuddling me, she gets up and goes to the bathroom.

When she gets out she starts to put her clothes back on. I was late for a party anyway. I invited her to go with me, but she declined saying that she didn’t want my friends to think of her as “the girl you picked up in Barnes and Noble.”

I never checked to see if she was on her period, although I don’t think she was. I wonder if it might have made a difference had I started dry humping her earlier. Anyways, that’s that. All in all a pretty fun time, actually.

 

Sasha Grey

I have a love/hate relationship with Sasha Grey.  On the one hand, she’s gorgeous (look at that ass!), into kinky sexy, and has a penchant for fetish wear which I like very much.

On the other hand, she’s so over the top in her movies it borders on patronizing.  I mean, I know they’re all faking it, but, Jesus!, you don’t have to make it THAT obvious.

She also seems a little narcissistic and self absorbed.  She reminds of a lot of the chicks I used to get high with in high school.  The ones that tried overly hard to come across as deep and intellectual.  Like they’ll start reading WAY too much into French films or trying to have a really “deep” conversation about something sexual or drug related or just something kind of “fringe.”  I always just get the impression that all they truly care about is putting across  an image of being Bohemian.

So there you go.  Sasha Grey.  I like to look at her, just not hear her.

 

We’re 25th! We’re 25th!

The BCS polls came out today, and guess who’s number 25?   That’s right, the South Carolina Gamecocks!  We better enjoy our time in the top 25, because Saturday Florida’s going to knock us right off the list.  But in the meantime:  We’re 25th!  We’re 25th!

 

I heart zombies.

 

Phillip Fulmer

For those of you that don’t know already (or care), Phil Fulmer “resigned” today as the head coach of the Tennessee Volunteers. He will finish out the season, but after that he’s gone. You know, I’m actually sad to see him go.

There are two sides to college football: One is taking young boys, and making them men. As corny as it sounds, it’s true. As freshmen the players are straight out of high school doing it for the the love of the game, and by the time they leave some of them are career athletes to whom skill is all that matters. In between those two places is a whole world of experience, growth, and life. Their football coach plays a role in molding them into the men they will become after college. As far as I know, Fulmer has done a wonderful job of that.

The other side of football is ugly and simple. Win. Win at any cost. Your worth is measured in how many “W”s you put on that schedule, and that will always be the bottom line. And for the insane amounts of money these coaches get paid, they had damn well better get results on the field, but I think we all know when we’re honest that our priorities are a little out of whack here.

Phillip Fulmer was 150-50 all time. 150-50!!! That’s an unbelievably good record! It puts him in the top 5 winingest coaches of all time. He hasn’t done very well in the last two or three years, but for the most part he’s kept Tennessee in the top 3 of the SEC and taken them to their only national championship game in (20?) years. When you set the bar that high on a regular basis, your fans start to expect you to win SEC titles every year. I’m not sure how realistic that is. The SEC isn’t the Big Ten. There will never be one team that sits at top year after year like Ohio State (who are vastly, overrated, btw) You can’t honestly expect to beat Florida, Georgia, LSU, and Auburn every year. If you do, you’re just dreaming.

I was inspired to write this after a I read a few blogs from Tennessee fans remembering everything Fulmer’s done for the program. It makes me think of Tommy Bowden too, who did a lot for the Clemson community and his players despite being kind of a shitty coach.

Still, when all is said and done, it comes all comes down to winning and losing. It’s still pretty sad, though.

 

You’re next Arkansas!

 

Carolina V. Tennesee Pre-game

As the Gamecocks enter the final quarter of the season, it’s becoming a very real possibility that we could finish 8-4. We’re favored by six points over the Vols, and our chances of beating them have never been better. Tennessee’s having a truly awful season. I think the Carolina defense is perfectly capable of containing Tennessee, but offensively… well, it depends on quarter back play and the offensive line. If the same Stephen Garcia that played the first half of the LSU game shows up, our chances look pretty good. Still, we’ll have to establish some kind of running game. The Volunteer defense has been their one saving grace all season, and if we come at them with nothing more than a passing attack…

Anyways, Tennessee, Arkansas, and Clemson are all perfectly win-able games for us this season, and with the crap-tacular seasons those three teams are having, if we don’t win them I think an issue needs to be made of it.

Go Gamecocks!

 

Live action Ninja Scroll? Why?

http://www.themovieblog.com/2008/10/ninja-scroll-remake-announced